Lead Balloon


Things I Don’t Recommend Doing. Or Things I Recommend Not Doing.
May 30, 2006, 9:45 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

1. Hiring "Starving Students" for your move.  Worked out well for my friend Mary, but not for me.

2. Adding up your Home Depot spending. It's just best not to know.

3. Taping before painting. Might seem like a good idea at first – but using a straight edge against the wall or object works out best. The tape ripped the fresh paint off our walls.

4. Removing a toilet. Just leave it where it is. It will never be the same afterwards.

5. Putting down new contact paper. This is a VERY frustrating thing to do if you have no patience.

6. Packing your panties and not setting that bag aside from the others. You need to be able to find these in a room full of 100 boxes.

That's it for now, just fresh on my mind this morning.

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No rest for the weary bottoms
May 26, 2006, 12:17 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

In the bathroom at my office, the toilet seat protectors are branded "Rest Assured".

Does this mean that people lie in bed at night, restless, not able to sleep, because they were forced to use a public restroom without a seat protector?

Or does it mean that as you're laying that thin, useless piece of paper on the toilet seat, sitting down onto it, taking care of your business, you're supposed to feel as if that 1-15 minutes spent there was very restful and relaxing?

I would rather put my fat cheeks on a sturdy, porcelain toilet seat than fear that my body might slide off of it by way of a slick plastic sheet of paper. For some reason, I'd rather have my skin on that seat than on the floor around it. I'd rather sit there and risk getting whatever it is people think they can get from a toilet seat than risk, when done with my business, pulling some of that seat cover up, and wedging it between my panties and rear end, for all the world to see.

Clearly, I'm not resting. Or assured.

Happy Friday.



Celebritydom
May 23, 2006, 6:17 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

In our cube farm, there is a table which has about 30 celebrity-focused magazines on it for anyone to read. You know, People, Us, Star…That trash that none of us can get enough of. I think I've mentioned on this blog before that I love looking at the pictures in those magazines…I love knowing all about Gwyneth drinking a beer during pregnancy, Britney's weight gain, and anything on Prince William is worthy of my attention. I'm just interested. "Celebrity" works on me. And that sucks.

This week, though, my obsessions with it are about the family lives of these celebrities. People are either getting pregnant, getting married, or getting a divorce. The pregnancies are fun to read about, but the marriages and divorces are really just the same stories over and over again. You never read about marriages in Hollywood that last forever. There's always some sort of infidelity, a divorce, a break up, an ugly court battle. Who are Hollywood's longest married couples?

And when you go just a little further than looking at the pictures in these magazines and read about the splits, perhaps in the picture description area, you find out that each person is "really trying to keep their focus on the children's well-being at this point…" These poor kids. Already, they have a not-so-normal life. I wonder if divorce affects them like it does other kids? Like, "Sure my parents are getting a divorce, but my parents are Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora. That totally overrides any depression I might feel. My dad is a rock star. My mom is…Heather Locklear." Or something.

I'm sure they feel it. But the kids might not even know that their parents are living a different life than before, given that the parents aren't likely at home at the same time anyway…As long as they don't get a new nanny, I'm sure it's business as usual from that perspective.

Okay, that was a bad generalization.

I have to hope that when these couples decide to marry, that they're genuinely thinking to themselves, "I love this person, we can make this work." I hope they're hoping for the best. I hope it's not more like, "This will be so good for my publicity. If I push out a baby, even better. I'll get a little chiuauha also, to fit into my purse."

I won't go into the "celebrities and their dogs" thing.

I don't like it. Why do I keep looking at the magazines? The good news is, if I mention a celebrity's name to Todd and ask him if he knows of a certain break up or that someone got arrested for throwing a phone at a hotel employee, he just asks, "Who is that? What are you talking about?" He's clueless. And I like that.



It’s a boy!
May 19, 2006, 12:35 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Baby was born a little after midnight. 7 pounds, 12 ounces. A beautiful, healthy baby boy!

Meg asked if I wanted to stay in the room during the birth, and of course, I did. It was an easy labor and delivery, all went very smoothly. I have to say, though, I still maintain that nothing compares to the anticipation of not knowing the sex of that baby, then the excitement of finding out when it's born. We all had a feeling (and hope) that it was a boy, but of course, we would have been excited either way.



Hippies-ACL-House-Buffalo-Baby
May 18, 2006, 2:10 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

If that subject line doesn't lure you in, I'm just not sure what will.

The hippies won The Amazing Race!  Todd and I have been cheering for them all along, and last night we were almost in tears when they ran to the finish line. 

I'm starting to realize that I have an obsession with some television shows. And that it just might be the reason for my recent, unexpected weight gain.

The line-up for Austin City Limits was released yesterday. Ben Harper, Damien Rice, Van Morrison, Iron and Wine, Ray Lamontagne, G. Love, Matisyahu, John Mayer. The list goes on, and it's a good list. Needless to say, we'll be there. Last year we bought tickets and didn't go because of the hurricanes and all the evacuations. Then it turned out to be beautiful weather. We're going this year, rain or shine.

In house news…our new refrigerator and dishwasher arrived yesterday.  Two hours late. When you get a couple of new appliances, suddenly your other remaining appliances look like fossils. Stove and microwave next. And floors. And countertops. And maybe some walls.

I'm not sure what's going on with the buffalo, though. Some days they're there. Some days, they're not. On Tuesday night we saw them, and there were two little babies in the group!

Speaking of babies, we are expecting the birth of our godchild to happen any minute now. Meg, the mother, is a week past her due date now. It's her fourth child, the previous three were all way past due as well. She was having some pretty good contractions last night, though, and it all looks promising for today. We've all got bets going on the sex of the baby, as well as the day/time of birth, weight, length, etc. Of course, I've got a chart tracking all the wagers. I'm not sure, but I think I read somewhere in the Book of Common Prayer that it's the godmother's role to encourage gambling in the family. A priest's family, nonetheless.

Happy day, everyone.



Family Photo
May 16, 2006, 8:19 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

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The Telly
May 16, 2006, 4:09 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

There was a period of time where I watched no TV. In college, I found my television to be a waste of space, and I put it in my closet. Now, there's DVR. And I am an addict. I'm certainly an addict to certain shows. Only, I have no idea what night my shows are on. Todd programs everything into the DVR and every night there's at least one show we like to watch and fast forward through the commercials. Again, the show could have aired three nights ago and I have no idea, nor do I care. But I get to fast forward through the commercials.

Last night was the finale of "Survivor". And I hated it. What a rip. Terry deserved to win. What's worse is, we had to watch it old-school style. Real time, with commercials. We were at a friend's house. The company was worth it, though. And we were soldiers, we plunged through.

But, the show I hate to love is "Grey's Anatomy". Tonight was the season finale, and man was it good. I cried. A few times. I cried. It. Was. Great. I want to start a Grey's Anatomy Blog, or a fan club, I love it so much. Yeah, maybe not. But it's a great show. It really is. And I'm not even a fan of the main character – I just like everyone else. Weird. It's a great show.