Lead Balloon

Kohl’s sucks, etc.
September 19, 2006, 3:05 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Todd and I played in a benefit golf tournament this past weekend in my hometown. He did really well, I played worse than I have played in years. It proves that practice does benefit you in the long run – a point that Todd and I debated about in the weeks leading up to the tournament. He went to the driving range. I hate going to the driving range. He went several times. I went once, and got frustrated, and then sat inside while he finished hitting balls. Really, I hate the driving range. I think I hate it because of being forced to hit golf balls for hours on the golf team in high school. Just seems pointless. Like non-alcoholic beer or decaffeinated coffee.

Over the weekend at home, my mom informed me that she thinks that the legalization of marijuana is a good idea.

Do you ever shop at Kohl’s? If so, you know how, from time to time, they have these *great* sales. Every now and then, you stop in and their goods are marked down 40 to 50% off, sometimes even 60%! Sixty percent! Well, I’m here to tell you that it’s a scam. Many of you already knew that, I’m sure. I’m slow, and gullible. But these people are very clever in their sales scam. It must take a lot of time to get the signage and other details just right for the sale. At any given time, they want you to stop in, see that the price tag reads $39.99, and notice that they’ve got it on sale for $15.00. You immediately think, “What a bargain on that! I must buy it, I can’t pass up a deal like that! If I leave here without buying that set of place mats, I will never find a sale like it again.” Sometimes you go home feeling good about the sale you just caught, how you really stole the item from the store, given what you paid for it.

My most recent shopping experience at Kohls, though, has left me feeling really screwed. I went in to find a pair of “dangly silver earrings” for Todd’s grandmother, Nana. Nana mentioned to Todd’s mother that this is what she wanted for her birthday. She’d seen some in People magazine. Since we had to stop into Kohl’s anyway to find Todd and I matching pink shirts for the golf tournament (which we never found, by the way. It was a breast cancer benefit tournament and we were going for “best dressed team”, which we didn’t win, by the way), we stopped by the jewelry counter.  And you wouldn’t believe – but they were having a 40% off sale on silver jewelry!  The timing!

So I found a nice pair of dangly silver earrings for Nana, and a matching necklace. It seemed that the $35.00 pair of earrings I found for Nana were only going to cost us about twenty bucks!  I tookthem home, and got everything ready to wrap. It was the act of peeling off the price tag that opened my eyes to the screwing. Under that $35.00 price tag was a $25.00 PRICE TAG.  And under that, another price tag which I couldn’t read because I’d clawed so much at the first two tags that I left it illegible. Do they think that people never remove price tags? Did they honestly think that they could add a higher price tag to the item so that when they put their jewelry “on sale” they’d get a higher margin on it? I guess they did, and I guess they won. It’s not like you can start peeling away layers of price tags in the store – then they’ve got you on camera and will likely walk you out of there in handcuffs.

I want to report them to Nightline or something. Is that a show? One of those shows where they “uncover” the scams. I want someone to go in there, track the changing prices of a particular set of items, and exploit them. There’s got to be a system – I want to know what it is! But I don’t have the energy. Argh.

Today is “Talk Like a Pirate Day”, just FYI.

In other news, Jack is refusing to go potty in our back yard. I don’t know why. But we let him out there, just like we always have, and he sits on the patio staring at the grassy area. (I say “grassy area” and not “yard” or “grass” because it really is just several groupings of little grassy areas. If my backyard were the chin of a teenage boy, you’d call it “peach fuzz”.) Anyway, he won’t go potty there. He has for months, and has just decided that he prefers the front yard. Twice over the past two weeks we’ve come home to a nice pile of poo on the tile in the front entry. We then started noticing that when we let him out in the back, he wasn’t going. So this morning, after two tries, I let him out front. Immediately, he began to pee for what seemed like 15 minutes. Then he went #2 about 14 times.

So today, I’m anticipating that we won’t come home to a pile of poo, but I’m also anticipating that we’ll have to start punishing him and somehow forcing him to go in the back yard again. Clearly, we can’t have him going in the front yard. First of all – we can’t risk him running into the street. Secondly, I don’t want our neighbor stepping in dog shit while he’s mowing our yard. I don’t want to discourage him in any way from mowing the yard, you see.

That is all.


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

don’t misinterpret mom’s statement. she’s only worried about my jail-time or getting a call to bail me out ; )

Comment by Sam

And I just thought she had gotten accustomed to your being stoned during the holidays, and didn’t want anyone to take that away from you. 😉

Comment by leadballoon

toooo much pooooo pooooo information…..

Comment by mutha deah

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