Lead Balloon

November 15, 2006, 7:24 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I think that just about every time I have to go see an eye doctor, I come back with a post about the drama that is my vision. I’ve got larger than life pupils. I’ve got thin corneas. I’ve got pingueculas. I can’t wear glasses full-strength anymore.  Two doctors have asked if I use recreational drugs on a regular basis. I can’t even be corrected to 20/20 anymore. All this drama.

On Sunday night, I diagnosed myself with pink eye. I was showing the classic symptoms – my eye was really, really red, and there was a bit of a mucus discharge.  (I hate those two words, especially when used together.) So I went home and rummaged through the medicine cabinet and found some prescription drops for pink eye that weren’t expired. I know they were for pink eye, because scribbled on the side of the bottle was, “for pink eye”. I’m not sure whose handwriting it was, or where they came from. But if memory serves me right, I think they might be my brother-in-law’s. The point is, they weren’t expired and I was ready not only to self-diagnose myself, but I was armed to self-prescribe and medicate.

So since Sunday night, I’ve been using the drops. Every four hours (I know the dosage because I looked online.) And I’ve been wearing my glasses 24/7. This is a real issue, given the the prescription in my glasses is 8 years old. They’re not only “not beautiful” but they’re not strong enough and make me dizzy to wear them. It’s miserable, I tell you. Last night, I realized that my symptoms weren’t really going away, if anything, they were getting worse. And now new symptoms were appearing – my eye was less itchy and now more scratchy. And it hurt a little bit.

I panicked – because I have to leave for Kansas tomorrow to do a presentation on Friday morning. There’s no way I can do it in these glasses. And, of course, due to my severe case of hypochondria, I thought I might also go blind by then.

So I got online to try to find my eye doctor’s number. Apparently, she’s disappeared. Vanished. I can’t find her information anywhere. Maybe she lost her license? Maybe she never was a real doctor… While I’m searching the Internet, my friend Mark chimes into AIM. Mark is an optometrist. Good timing. I start asking him twenty questions. I let him know about my self-diagnosis and self-medicating…He’s not surprised. He offered to see me first thing this morning.

Turns out I’ve got an ulcer on my cornea. Great. I spend my days dizzy and shouldn’t be allowed behind the wheel of a vehicle. Please send good vibes toward my left cornea.


3 Comments so far
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Is it on the area of the pinguecula? If so, that happens to me sometimes. I can sympathize with you. Wishing you a happy and healthy left eye. (You will now be called Lauri Left Eye Lopez – as in the band TLC).
I will stop now.

Comment by patrickthehedgehog

>>>recreational drugs on a regular basis.

was this question to you from the doctor FOR or AGAINST recreational drugs on a regular basis? as in…would your eyes be better if you did? 😉

Comment by Sam

I’ve never before heard of an ulcer on the cornea, but it sounds awful. I hope your eye gets better soon!

Comment by Jen

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