Lead Balloon

Please bring your seats to the upright position.
January 9, 2007, 9:39 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’m really enjoying my new job. It’s the traveling that sucks. I’m looking at my calendar right now…There are five weeks in January. I’m traveling four of those five weeks. Mostly Thursday-Friday trips, but one full week. I’m starting to feel like I live out of a suitcase. And the travel restrictions and airports…I have just a couple of complaints (rants, bitching, whatever you want to call it) to share with you:

– If you’re going to implement new requirements for travelers, such as how they travel with their shampoo and other liquids, enforce them consistently each time. I’ve been traveling with all my liquids inside a gallon sized Ziploc bag. Learned the last trip that they need to be in a quart sized bag – fortunately they only threw out bath gel and lotion when they couldn’t cram them into their quart-sized bag. I’d make a witty, clever comment here about how they saved the day that day, given that I had explosives in that body lotion, but I’m afraid I’ll be arrested. It’s a joke! A JOKE!

– A note for the Chicago O’Hare airport- learn how to schedule flights, take off on time, fly in the wind or fog…So that you don’t shut down every other airport in America. I’m tired of sleeping on your floor. Sure your hotel is nice, but what are the chances I’m getting in there? If you’re going to require that so many people get stranded at your airport, then rip out all those armrests between the chairs, so that we can lay there, not on the floor.

– Why does a glass of red wine have to cost $9.75 at the airport? I’m losing money on my per diem with that crap – give me an affordable method of easing my travel pains and woes.

– I’m loyal to American Airlines only because I’ve accumulated so many miles with them (genius marketing program), but they’ve got to be the worst with their in-flight snacks. That’s not a snack. It’s a condom-sized wrapper containing three pretzels and a couple of sesame sticks. And they’re actually good sesame sticks – they just leave you wanting more. And don’t even think about asking for another one.

– It’s been written about 100 times before, but what in the hell difference does it make if I have my seat reclined the whole 3 inches it will recline, prior to take off? Surely there is an explanation for this. And I’d like to hear it. (Note – I found out after posting this that it’s a safety thing. Apparently to clear the rows easier in case of a crash upon take off or landing.)

– To the airlines – quit lying to people. If you’re grounding and delaying a plane so that you can wait on more of your employees to get on it to get back to their home bases (after O’Hare shutting down and leaving them stranded), then don’t tell us it’s a “mechanical issue”. I think we’d rather hear about your concern for your employees’ work-life balance than sit in fear that the wing is going to fall off.

– Cab companies – start accepting credit cards. It’s just easier. No one knows how much a typical cab fare is in your city.

– Car rental companies – no one wants to buy your insurance package. I think just about everyone is covered by their own insurance if we wreck your car.

I’m sure I can think of something else if I sit here long enough, but now I’ve just depressed myself about the trip I have to take on Thursday, where all of this starts over again.


4 Comments so far
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I just went out and bought a MegaMillions ticket. Maybe you can come to work for me. I won’t make you travel.

Comment by Big Sis

I hate traveling.

Comment by Windfall Woman

I love traveling; getting to visit new cities, the excitement of the unknown, turning the air conditioning below freezing in the hotel room. Of course, most of the travel I have done has been for pleasure or hockey.

Comment by TL

I’d enjoy it, too. If I actually got to “visit” different cities. It’s straight off the plane, to the hotel (dinner sometimes in between), straight to the hospital on the morning, then a mad dash right back to the airport. What I get to see is a lot of airports.

Comment by leadballoon

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