Lead Balloon

February 28, 2007, 8:01 am
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I flew to North Carolina on Monday (by way of Cincinnati, ridiculous), and got home last night around 10:00 pm. It was a two day trip. And it was a wasted two day trip. A waste of money and a waste of time.

I woke up Monday morning, feeling kind of icky. Stomach icky. But chalked it up to what is pretty much normal for me lately, and got out of bed, got ready and headed to the airport. Given all the traveling I do for my job, I’m a smart traveler. I knew that I’d better grab something to eat before boarding the plane because a) you can never predict whether or not you’ll get a snack on the plane, and b) there’s a good chance you could be sitting on that plane for 3-6 more hours than you intended. With no food. So I grabbed a banana nut muffin and an orange juice and ate it up while I waited to board my first plane.

Obviously, that stomach ickiness wasn’t hunger…still there. Ginger ale on the plane. Next airport, next plane, more ickiness. No relief. By the time I arrived at my destination, I was feeling pretty awful. This is now hours of up and down on the planes, waiting, walking, misery. Met my boss, we rented a car, and as soon as I checked into our hotel I let everyone know I’d not be joining them for dinner, headed straight for my room, slept off and on for a few hours, then proceeded to throw my guts up. Or, rather, my guts along with some banana nut muffin and OJ. Disgusting.

Bottom line, I never made it to my meetings. I flew to North Carolina (beautiful scenery, by the way) and got a hotel room with a nice clean toilet and a comfy bed so that I could barf and sleep for a few hours. Thank God for clean hotel rooms with clean bathrooms. I text messaged my husband at one point to ask him to make sure all the toilets in our house were sparkly clean before I got home. They are, and for that I am very thankful. I am also thankful for having such a sweet boss, who handled all the meetings on his own and in his spare time brought me Gatorade and crackers.

I’m feeling better today. I think it was a 24 hour bug of some sort. Or, something I ate. But what could have been wrong with a muffin or a bottle of Dole OJ? Ughh. Now I’m two days behind on work and a little tired, muddling through.

Sorry if that spoiled your breakfast for you.


The Onion
February 23, 2007, 5:27 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Sometimes, actually quite often, I forget about the GENIUS stuff The Onion puts out. Today, I happened across a few articles which tickled my funny bone fancy. Wanted to share them here.

Al Gore Caught Warming Globe To Increase Box Office Profits

Christ Announces Hiring of Associate Christ

Frito-Lay Angrily Introduces Line Of Healthy Snacks

Have a good weekend, everyone.

February 23, 2007, 8:38 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Dooce recently posted this, which has been running through my mind for the past week. I’m always interested in what is going on in the celebrity world, so obviously I’ve been keeping up with the latest on Britney. Since I travel so much, I treat myself to the purchase of a People or Us magazine in the airport. I used to buy smart magazines, so that others might think that I wasn’t so shallow and brainless. Now I just don’t give a shit. But nonetheless, I also can’t believe that no one has mentioned the fact that she could be suffering from postpartum depression. It’s a very real thing, and I have witnessed it first hand on multiple occasions, having worked for an OB/GYN for a few years. We had a patient who, after trying years to conceive, finally gave birth to a baby boy. She was the happiest we’d seen her, during her prenatal visits. When the baby was born, she walked out of the hospital, in a hospital gown, no undergarments, and barefoot, and walked all the way to our office – unnoticed by nurses or other visitors. When she got to our office she was in another world, she was another person. It was awful, and like I said, very real.

It’s completely inappropriate but I do think I should mention the similarities between that woman and Britney, what with the “no panties” bit and all. But seriously, I really hope this is not the case with Britney.

Speaking of celebrities. I think I’ve mentioned before that my husband is completely out of touch with anything Hollywood. For example, when I told him Anna Nicole Smith had died, I don’t think he knew who she was. This happens quite a bit, him having no idea who I’m talking about as I’m swimming in fascination with complete strangers’ personal lives. A couple of nights ago, at dinner, I asked him who his “Top 5” were. You know, if we weren’t married and he had the ability to go out with any well known person – celebrity, musician, etc., who would it be? Immediately he couldn’t think of anyone, so I let him ponder as I gave him a few examples of mine: Sting, Dave Matthews, Johnny Depp, and that Clive Owen. There are others, but I stopped there. A few moments later, he said he really couldn’t think of anyone else but Brad Pitt and Johnny Depp. He’d love to spend some time with those guys. He couldn’t even think of the names of famous women, couldn’t even picture them in his head. And I’m telling you right now – he wasn’t lying or trying to put up some innocent front. He really doesn’t pay attention. Later he said, “What’s that one girl’s name? Amanda Peet? I think she’s kinda cute.” I said I did, too. Sweet Todd.

February 22, 2007, 1:00 pm
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Thank you Jesus for the Girl Scouts and the cookies they peddle. And for their patches.

Weather and the Amish.
February 22, 2007, 8:49 am
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Isn’t it funny how a certain temperature or change in weather brings back memories? Well this week I was in Pennsylvania, where it was freezing but beautiful. Not a lot of memories there. Tons of snow everywhere, beautiful mountains. Certainly a different kind of cold than what we experience here – without the humidity you begin to understand what people mean when they say, “cool, crisp day”. It really was beautiful.

But coming back home was certainly a surprise. It was summer weather! I walked out of the airport and started to sweat like a maniac, and looked like one, too, in my turtleneck when it was almost 80 degress outside. As hot as I was, I loved it. As I was driving home and into our neighborhood, it felt just like a year ago, when the weather was warm and I was stalking out the neighborhood just before we bought the house. All of those feelings of excitement came back to me. If I’d only known then what I know now… 🙂

I stayed in an area of Pennsylvania where there was a large Amish community. Non-Amish people who live in the community see the horses and buggies all the time, but for those of us in a rental car – two people from California and Texas – this was quite the tourist attraction. Truly, I am fascinated by them. I plan to do some research, because there’s quite a bit I don’t understand. For example, they have red glowing candles on the sides of their buggies for “tail lights” but will use technology offered by a hospital? They won’t use electricity in their homes but will perform woodwork with saws and other tools, as long as they are owned by someone else? Again, fascinating. I plan to learn more. The likelihood of any Amish people reading this Web site, commenting with some educational notes is pretty slim. So I’ll try to find out for myself.

I’m home now. Tired, extremely behind on work. I arrived to a fresh bouquet of flowers, with a note from Todd, Jack and Lily welcoming me home. Good men and pets are hard to find.

I have completely lost the ability on WordPress to do spell check. I have no idea where that option went? So excuse any typos. The grammar – I’ve got no excuse for that.

Happy Valentine’s Day
February 14, 2007, 5:08 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’m making pink cupcakes.

Wash your hands. Right now.
February 8, 2007, 11:47 am
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I don’t know where I picked it up, but I’ve got it. I don’t think it’s the full-on flu. More like ‘Introduction to Flu – 101″. Schools all over Dallas are either closing or reporting huge absences because of the flu outbreak. The news people seem amazed that this is happening – when last year there was a shortage in flu shots, and this year there are plenty. Hellooooo – there are plenty because not enough people GOT them. Including me.

I always do. I had my reasons this year for not getting one, they were all good reasons. But I regret it now. Although, since I don’t think it’s flu – it likely wouldn’t have helped anyway.

Tuesday night I stared at the ceiling all night, got NO SLEEP, fighting nausea all night long. Praying to vomick. Never happened. Just miserable. Can’t breathe. Coughing my head off. Achy. Tired. Misery.

Today is better.

I keep thinking how cool it would be if science and research took us far enough so that we could pinpoint the exact point in time that we picked up a virus. We know that there’s an “incubation period” where it’s festering and preparing your body to feel like hell, all without you knowing it. But if we could look back and say, “I was on an airplane when I picked that up, and I likely got it from the guy sitting two seats over from me.” Then I would hunt him down and kill him.

Or what if viruses were glow-in-the-dark like those Gatorade commercials? You know, where the sporty/fit person is drinking the bright orange Gatorade and it’s seeping orange from her pores? What if you could see a flourescent blue virus on your hands or in the air you were breathing? That would be cool. Because I’d be spraying Lysol all over that shit. Then we could see if Lysol really WORKS! Man, the opportunities are endless with my flourescent virus idea.

Anyway, go wash your hands now. You can’t see it, but I swear that it’s there. Waiting to infect you and force you to bed for a few days.