Lead Balloon

May 11, 2007, 4:02 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I’ve been feeling for the past few weeks like I could “feel” the baby moving. It’s about the right time for it, I’m 20 weeks, almost 21 weeks now. I started to feel this kind of bumping or thumping around in there. Just one tiny movement, followed by another, for a few minutes. Then it goes away. Everyone kept asking me, “Does it feel like a flutter? Like butterflies in your belly?” I kept saying no, it just feels like something thumping me from the inside.

Well today I felt the butterflies. It literally feels like a fluttering. Over and over again. Tickles a little bit. It’s quite wonderful, actually. I just wish it happened more often.

We had a sonogram earlier this week where the baby gave us a nice thumbs up, like “Everything’s okay, ma!”

Today I instant messaged Todd to let him know about the flutters and he responded by saying that he’s so excited for this baby to get here, to be born. And I realized as soon as he said it that I’m really not ready for the baby to get here. I mean, I look forward to it, for sure. But I realized that I actually enjoy being pregnant. And when the baby gets here, I will not be pregnant anymore. It works that way, you know.

I didn’t enjoy the first trimester. I felt like a crazy person. I don’t particularly enjoy being constipated or having to change my sleeping positions. I don’t enjoy being tired a lot. Those things are so minor compared to how good it feels to be pregnant. On one hand, it feels like a little secret I have that I can’t share with anyone. Not the secret that I’m pregnant, just this little relationship I have with this baby that only I can have. No one’s ever met him or her before…neither have I. But it’s literally part of me, sharing a body with me, this little alien. And it’s a very special time, this few months…that it’s just it and me. When it’s born, that all goes away. I know that when he or she is born, the real fun will begin.

Anyway, there was another part of me that isn’t ready for the baby to get here because there’s too much to do before that day. Finding bedding that I like for a gender-neutral nursery is near impossible. We ordered the furniture, it should be here soon. But we can’t set up the furniture until we paint the room. We can’t paint the room until we pick out some bedding and other stuff. We can’t do that until I make a decision. It’s some pretty positive, good stress to have, though.

To all the mamas out there, the mama’s mamas, the mamas-to-be, and to those of you who are keeping your mamas in your hearts – have a happy Mother’s Day.


5 Comments so far
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What a great post. Happy mother’s day to you, mama.

Comment by amber

What about a jungle motif? Not in a pastel-y way, but in a more primary color kind of way. And a buttery yellow is always nice!
Example… http://www.babysupermall.com/main/products/coc/coc112033.html

Comment by Kristen

Todd likes the jungle/safari theme. I’m wanting to get away from a themed idea. That’s where I’m stuck. Finding gender-neutral bedding that’s not themey. πŸ™‚

Comment by Lauri

just remember…the colors and all that is for the parents and other visitors that come see the babes. that baby is not going to remember any of that stuff. maybe go w/ an inner-womb-colored theme…apparently the baby likes it in there (w/ that thumbs-up and all) πŸ˜‰

Comment by Sam

That sonogram pic is awesome! Hope you had a happy Mother’s Day!

Comment by jen

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