Lead Balloon


Baby, Baby, Baby
October 15, 2007, 1:03 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I don’t have much else to write about, except Natalie. She’s basically the focus of all of my attention lately. She’s been here two weeks and two and a half days…and that is just crazy to me. It seems like she’s been here much longer. In the flesh, I mean. Not the womb.

This weekend I went to the garage to empty the recycling into the big bin and I noticed there were two empty containers of baby wipes in the bin. Then I realized she was only two weeks old…and I did the very complicated math…and determined that we are going through a pack of wipes a week! How is that possible?

We have diapers from a variety of sources. Shower gifts, some from the hospital, free samples. So at this time I have no way of determining how many diapers we’ve churned through in two weeks. I don’t think I want to know the answer to that, though. It might make me a little crazy. But soon enough, we’ll have to go buy diapers, and I will likely go into convulsions.

Lord, then there’s the formula. If only my breasts worked the way they were supposed to. Formula is EXPENSIVE! And, of course, we’ve chosen to give her the most expensive kind. Not on purpose. But marketing and advertising works on us because we’re like play-dough in the hands of talented creative directors and brand managers. She neeeeeeds it.

She’s just adorable. Even in the middle of the night, when she’s screaming, she’s adorable. And as I’m washing and sterilizing bottles for the 200th time in two weeks, she’s adorable. And it’s really odd how my affection toward her, my feelings for her, have changed since we got home. I was so scared of her at first. She was so tiny and delicate – with that umbilical cord stump on her belly which looked painful, and her poor little head still recovering from her traumatic birth. I was scared to hurt her. So when I held her, bathed her, dressed her, changed her, I did it in such a delicate manner that it took so much more time than necessary. This is why you have to take maternity leave – because you need the time to do things like bathe your baby, go to the bathroom and wipe your own ass.

Once I got past the fear, I felt more in awe of her than in love with her. I couldn’t stop looking at her, I still can’t. I can’t believe that we made her, and that she grew inside my body and that in one minute she was in there…and then the next, she was out – living life here on earth and breathing on her own and moving her arms and legs and doing other cool stuff, like pooping. And looking cute.

It’s only been recently that I fell madly in love with her. It’s only recently that I want to eat her up in one big bite. But I do love her, and I’m finally accepting the fact that she is, in fact, a girl. I was so convinced she would be a boy that I’d bonded already with this baby boy that I was carrying. And when she was born, she was like a complete stranger. I mean, I was convinced she was a boy. And from time to time, I panic a little bit about the “girl things” in my future. Things like hair bows and PMS and handsy boyfriends.

The things I love about her so far:
– The face she makes when she’s going poo
– The way she stretches her arms and legs as she’s waking up from a nap
– How, in her sleep, she smiles and seems to have conversations with someone
– The half-smile she does, where she curls up only one side of her mouth to smile
– The way she throws her arm out like she has no control over it, and brings it back close to her body, slowly
– The way she makes an “o” with her little mouth after she gets her gas drops, and keeps it that way for a while
– Her exorcist eyes – what looks like Rapid Eye Movement with her eyes open
– Her sighs
– The way she tries to suck on my cheek as I’m burping her, midway through a bottle
– When she’s awake, the way her eyes seem to be taking everything in, soaking up everything new around her
– The way she “rides her bicycle” when she’s happy – for instance, while she’s watching her mobile
– The monkey feet she inherited from her father
– Her mullet

Excluding her monkey feet and mullet, I’m sure my list of things is pretty common among all newborns. But it’s the way SHE does those things that make them so unique and perfect. Below are some photos of her in all her cuteness.

Sleeping Natalie

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3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Thanks for sharing the pictures. I can’t get the first link (Sleeping Natalie) to work though!

Comment by jen

Thanks for posting! I’ve been checking and checking. First off, she’s ridiculously cute! That pouty lip? Oh man. She looks a lot like you; gorgeous wideset eyes!!!
Glad you had a few minutes to write. I’m anxious to read your birth story, too!

Comment by Kristen

i knew you’d understand that “eat her up” concept before too long. just keep her away from George Foreman Grills…or you WILL be tempted to cook her 😉

Comment by Sam




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