Lead Balloon

December 11, 2007, 8:59 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

My sister bought us a calendar made especially for keeping track of baby’s milestones – first tooth, first outing, rolled over, says “mama”, etc. It’s really cute, and I’ve been filling it out pretty regularly since Natalie was born, something I’m quite proud of and something I think I’ll be so thankful for when she’s older. I have my baby book that my mom kept after I was born, and I can remember when I was a little girl I used to love to go and pull the book from the bookshelf in the living room and look through it. It was like I was trying to “get to know” this person, this baby Lauri that I’d never met. I loved the details that she kept, and those details actually helped me in a 6th grade class where we had to chart our lives on a timeline. I was the only one in the class who was able to chart “laughed out loud” and “rolled over” on my timeline. I think I got extra credit for that.

This week has been a big week for her – she’s experiencing her first real cold, she slept through the night and she’s starting to really talk to us…On purpose.

Her cold…Makes me very sad. I feel like I gave it to her. I’ve got a cold that I can’t shake – some days I start to feel better and other days it seems like it’s getting worse. I hear it’s going around. Our pediatrician, I’m sure, would say she picked it up at school. But she’s been living with one big cold germ for the past two weeks…and that person also loves to hold her close and let her sleep in her arms. I’ve not been kissing on her, but come on…It’s totally my fault. At night when I hear her in there with her tiny nose all stopped up, breathing through precious snot, I cringe a little knowing that a) poor thing can’t blow her nose herself and b) it’s totally my fault that she’s in that situation. Even if she DID pick it up at school…That, too, would be my fault. We do use the nasal aspirator – that bulb-like instrument that makes you feel like you’re sucking brain tissue through her nose. And it doesn’t seem to work that well, but we continue to torture her with it.

A few nights ago, she slept through the night for the first time. She went down around 7:30 pm and slept until around 4:30 am. We thought this was pretty amazing – right after I realized I hadn’t killed her. I sat up in bed, gasping for air, wondering if we’d neglected to check on her or slept through her cries. Todd was all, “Calm down, she just slept through the night…this is a good thing.” He said this as I was running into her room to check her breathing. She was fine. I actually woke her up that morning, she might’ve slept longer if I’d just left her alone. Then we thought this was a fluke, a one-time thing, her being so tired from school that she needed the rest. Then last night…she slept for 11 hours straight! Unfortunately, I didn’t. So while this was great for her, I didn’t get to enjoy the good things that come for the parents of a baby sleeping through the night. I was up all night listening to her snotty nose and wondering if she’d be blaming me for that snotty sleep this morning. Pointing that tiny, chubby little finger at me. But no, she woke up in a good mood, just a little hungry. It’s weird how she loves us and smiles at us, even when we’re sucking her brains out and torturing her with things like saline nose drops.

Oh, her little noises. For the past month she’s really been trying to “coo” at us. She wants so badly to “talk” to us she starts kicking her legs and waving her arms around, and moving her mouth into what she thinks is the same shape our lips are in as we’re talking to her. Her whole body tries to coo – and she’ll try and try and try and then just sigh out of exhaustion. Sometimes, little noises here and there will escape, and those make her extremely happy. Us, too. Last night, though…she really found her voice. Our favorite thing lately is bath time every night. We bathe her together and now that she’s really enjoying her bath, this is really a fun time for us. Once the bath is done we take her into her room and lube her up with a really good baby massage then dress her in her jammies and get her ready for bed. Todd put her into her bed after last night’s ritual so that she could adore the extremely fascinating mobile and he started talking to her. She loves to hear him talk. (I could go on about how she loves EVERYTHING about him and how she smiles whenever he’s within a 10 foot radius of her, but I’ll let that one lie for a moment.) She was just lying there, kicking those legs and waving those arms…and it happened. She got the noise out! And lots of it! LOTS of it. But, of course, not enough so that she’d still be going after I ran downstairs to get the video camera.

We were kind of stunned by it, speechless. Then we started to look at her then back and forth at each other as if something really groundbreaking just happened, or was happening. Of course, to us, it was groundbreaking. We were so proud and excited about it that I understood in that one little moment what everyone told us about having children, before we had children. They change your life. And it’s just so true and in so many ways… It’s amazing. Sure, we miss being able to go out to eat at the drop of a hat or spontaneously doing…ANYTHING. But who cares!? I keep waiting for the “tough times” or the “hard stuff”, wondering how we’ll deal with it or what, exactly, people mean by that? But it never comes. We’re loving every minute of it.

I don’t see how anything can top hearing the sound of her “voice” for the first time…But then again, I know there’s so much more to come. What an amazing, miraculous creature she is. A clean slate…adding little files to her mental rolodex every minute. It’s really just the most fascinating thing I’ve ever seen.

1st Week of School – 10 Weeks


1 Comment so far
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It is fascinating, growing a human.

Comment by jen

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