Lead Balloon

Love on the road.
October 15, 2008, 11:49 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

I witnessed two very interesting things on the roads of north Texas recently. Well, I am always seeing strange things from the comfort of my car, but I’d have to keep a database in my front seat to catalogue all of them for cross-referencing so that I could put them into a post that makes any sense, I see so many. These two happened in the span of a week so I was able to remember them in enough detail to write them down. So here goes.

Todd, Natalie and I were on our way to Todd’s parents’ house on Sunday. We were on the George Bush Turnpike (a highway with a toll) and just as we were about to exit Todd grabs the wheel of the car tightly and slowly hits the brakes as he notices, then points out to us, things flying through the air. Not flying so much as they were being THROWN. Off to the side of the road was a Honda, parked. And next to it, a woman in a skin-tight, black leather mini-dress. And she was taking things out of her car and HURLING them onto the highway. You know scenes from movies where a woman is tossing a cheating husband’s things out the window of the second story of her house? This was the same thing, except she was hurling his things out of her car. There were pillows, books, all kinds of stuff. And the truth is – it was DANGEROUS stuff to be coming at your own car as you’re driving 65+ miles per hour down the highway! What kind of crazy person does this??? Cars were swerving all over the place, dodging this stuff, and she just kept on doing it — not a care in the world for the safety of the innocent drivers out on the highway. Idiot.

All I could think of was, “What the hell did he do wrong???” I know it was a “he” because a few seconds later we saw “him” with his backpack, walking with his head down, swift pace, down the feeder. He had a look on his face like “Get me away from that crazy bitch.” I’m not a mind reader, but I can tell what people are thinking by the looks on their faces for sure.

Did he kill her dog? Her mom!? Did he cheat on her? Did he call her “fat” as they were driving down the highway? I think the real lesson here (besides: DON’T THROW YOUR CRAP INTO HIGHWAY TRAFFIC) is: don’t tell someone really bad news while they’re driving YOU around in THEIR car. They could kill you.

So the second thing I saw was last night while I was out running some errands. I was at a stop light, in the left turn lane when I noticed someone across the way (also stopped in a line of cars at the light) get OUT OF HER CAR (the driver’s seat) and start running toward a truck parked a couple cars back. When she got to the truck, the dude in the driver’s seat rolled down the window. She pushed the top half of her body through the window, planted a HUGE KISS on the guy, then ran back to her car, got in, and kept on driving.

Now, while that’s really “sweet” and all…again, traffic. Street. Other drivers. SAFETY!?

Just thought I’d share. And if you’re reading this blog and you are either of these women (or men!) please leave a comment and provide to us the details of what was going on there. I need to know.